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About:Humorous articles/Survive Classes with Stupid People
How to Survive Classes with Stupid People 1. First identify if you have a "stupid class". This usually requires at least half of the class to be stupid. If you can't find out how many are in half of your class, then you are probably part of the stupid half. 2. If someone says something stupid, laugh. 3. If you get paired with someone stupid for a group project, do all the work. Then, tell the teacher that he/she did not do any of the work. The teacher will most likely believe you and he/she wasn't going to do any of the work anyway. 4. If paired with multiple stupid people avoid step #3. You will get beaten up. 5. Stupid people take a long time to copy notes off the board or write things down. Scream "YES!" very loudly if the teacher asks if everybody is done. 6. Try becoming friends with the stupid people, especially the strongest one. They will then become yours to control. If you are successful, you can avoid step #4. 7. Never copy off a stupid person's test or quiz. Never ask them for help on anything. 8. Frequently remind them that they can never make it to that college that they never shut up about. 9. If you live in an uncivilized society, kill the stupid people. 10. If you want them to shut up, say a seven-letter or more word. They will be too confused to say anything else. 11. Keep your patience: if you freak out every time someone stupid says something stupid, you will be freaking out a lot. Relax. 12. Get distracted: bring something to class that will keep you attention, such as work from another class, a book, or something shiny...anything that will prevent you from wanting to kill the class. 13. Sleeping is always a safe solution...it is better to not be conscious and not know what they are saying. 14. Leave the class as often as possible. Try going to the bathroom, get a drink of water, volunteer to deliver things to the office. If you're about to explode, leave and count backwards from 10. 15. Try requesting a seat change. Is one side of your class particularly annoying? Get to the other side as soon as possible. 16. Earplugs are a good way to block the stupidity. 17. Keep track of all of the stupid things they say. Make a tally in the corner of your notebook and write down the most ignorant quotes. This will lessen the frustration and give you something else to focus on. 18. Don't watch the clock...the time will only go by slower. 19. Daydream during class. Let your mind wander instead of making it be stuck inside the classroom. 20. It might sound stupid, but you should try flipping your pencil. You might even get a bloody nose and have to leave the classroom. 21. Chewing gum will give you something else to focus on. 22. Do not hit your head on the desk unless you want a mother-load of a headache later on. 23. Wear shoes with shoelaces. Keep tying them repeatedly. Shoelaces can be the most entertaining things if you use them properly. 24. Write the alphabet with your tongue. It is much trickier than it sounds and it can be very entertaining. 25. See how long you can go without blinking. Try challenging your score. 26. Teach yourself how to write with your non-dominate hand. It would pretty cool if you were ambidextrous. 27. Make bets with your friends on how many stupid things will be said that day. 28. See how many colors the person in front of you has in his or her hair. 29. Bring this list with you to class. Share it with only non-stupid people and the person teaching (maybe). If your teacher is cool, then yes. If they are all soft, pink, fuzzy, and "sensitive", then no. If this last offends you, then you are it. Get a spine. ---- Tips *If you follow these tips, it would be beneficial to invest in a bodyguard. *Don't feel bad if he/she cries while doing step #8. *You could be nice and share your notes if you follow step #5, but do not feel obligated. *Just because you are not stupid does not mean you have to be the class smartass. If you are stupid you should not try to be the class smartass. *If the class is incredibly stupid and you find yourself leaving often, the female emergency story is a good one to use. ---- Materials Needed *Stupid people *A gun (step #9) *A piece of paper with an updated copy of this list, or, easier, just the URL. ---- Warnings *Just because they're stupid doesn't mean they're not violent. *You will likely die in step #9. *The female emergency story tip indeed only works for females. *You might not hear the teacher when using ear plugs. ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----